update: it was a raging success. we wanted to generate around 180 creative writing assignments for my wife's 5th and 6th grade english classes. we came up with almost 220 in about half an hour. brainstorming with post-it'srooolz.
cogent thought at
21:07 courtesy of Michael Ackerbauer [
]
friday, august 30
frustrated artisté I am dying to take pictures again. my passion for the lens was rekindled in buffalo when we displayed our creativity portfolios, and I bothered to dig up some old black and white shots I had taken in college. a fellow cohort challenged me with a question I have only just begun to answer: "why are you really here?" translation: why did I enroll in a master's program focused on creative studies, thinking it was (just) for business? why had I not given any thought to the personal and artistic sides of my creativity when I signed up? a good question, branko. I hope when we meet again next year, I can truly answer it.
here's what I do know: I want to cultivate my artistic side. I want to re-explore it now with a new eye, a sharper focus on what I am capable of. between my self-esteem transplant and the paradigm shifting, toe curling, eye opening, mind blowing wakeup call last month, I know the artistic work I have produced in the past wasn't a fluke, and I know there is a depth there that has yet to be plumbed. and while I know my potential behind the lens is greater than I had given myself credit for, I am beginning to wonder what it feels like (and what it would look like) to smoosh some colorful oils on a blank canvas.
and then there is this; just another of the many reasons I want to start taking pictures again, and why I asked for a digital cam for christmas. (can you not tell me this is one of the best wedding photos you've ever seen?) pictures like these and those taken by nigel and catherine are what make the artistic spirit in me stir with a restlessness that only producing something truly unique to me knows how to quench.
granted, i'm new here. but am i the *only* one that doesn't get what this means?
sorry, I'm overdue for an explanation ...
"link of the day" is a funny or otherwise unique (read, unusual) referral link to this site. the two listed are recent search queries that were entered in google or some other search engine that returned praynaked.com as a website containing text referring to the requested search criteria.
the most popular random search referral links are: naked.com, clothing optional, or naked combined with any one or more of the following: child, kid, wife, neighbor, neighbor's dog, father, outlaw fishing or some variant thereof.
you can see the types of queries I get on sitemeter. I may eventually close the link to keep from making really twisted queries available to the general public, but I figure, I'm already offending Christians, and my demographic is mostly adult, so you're all quite capable of generating your own queries. that, and I figure timothy would have a fit if I did.
cogent thought at
15:44 courtesy of Michael Ackerbauer [
]
cogent thought at
13:13 courtesy of Michael Ackerbauer [
]
tuesday, august 27
family ties in another life, I spend a lot of time talking (or at least thinking) about change, leadership and personal growth. in fact, if I could bend your ear for any length of time about the subject you would know that I am a huge proponent of the notion that if you're not learning, you're not growing; and if you're not growing, you're taking up oxygen. (granted I say it nicer to most folks.)
the thing of it is, I just don't want to grow in certain areas. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has ever felt this way. can you honestly say you want to grow in all areas of your life? I don't mean you don't desire it; you just don't desire it enough to do it. look me in the eye and tell me there's nothing in your life that could stand improving (marcus, typing speed counts; sorry bud). can't do it? then beware the knee-jerk comments you'll feel inclined to impart shortly.
we spent a week with the in-law's on a tiny little island off the mass. coast not two weeks ago. today I pick up my mother at the airport for a two-week stint at what has been known at times as the "macker bed & breakfast." neither of these things are particularly bad events; in fact I enjoyed most of the vacation week, and am looking forward to bringing "jilly" home to see the kids.
I have nevertheless arrived at the following conclusion: I am not in a mental or emotional space where I willingly choose to grow when it comes to relating to the in-law's and out-laws. I have tried; God knows, I have made sacrifices for the good of familial harmony. I have enjoyed a renaissance with my mother-in-law the past few years. I have had great times with my mother in town. and still, our pastor's pre-marital advice to us rings true: how many times per month, he asked, did we intend to have the parents visit? "one!" was my immediate response. something told me "um, none?" would have gone over like flatulence during mass.
it's not that I don't want to take the moral high ground with obessessive compulsive behaviors, rather than sink to the level of namecalling, fingerpointing and blameshifting. I do; God knows, I disappoint myself when I let certain members of the family irritate me so badly I just want to wrap my fingers around their blessed necks and squeeze the everloving breath out of them until I can feel my palms touch lose my cool. I do want to be better than to counter childish behavior with sarcasm.
but for now it's too much effort just to keep myself from succumbing to verbal abuse. I'm just not equipped to deal with being a change agent -- or at least, a role model for reasonable tones and measured responses.
anyone know if bob ross sells subliminal messaging tapes?
cogent thought at
16:25 courtesy of Michael Ackerbauer [
]
it is not ironic that the television was a (if not the) primary influence during my formative years. even back in the early 80's the concept of "family values" was still pretty much in vogue, and I bit on it pretty hard. living a walter mitty-esque life most of the time, I naturally fantasized about having a whole nuclear family, envying other kids whose parents were together, idolizing fathers who seemed to be all together. I held to the notion that the first eight years of my life, minus the divorce, were not only idyllic but universal: you grow up in mellencamp's proverbial small town, play football, go to college, come home to settle down and start your own family to live out the same existence. several generations lived and died in my hometown, including half of my mother's siblings; the other half were part of the trend set in the last 20 or so years wherein we move away and come home for the holidays.
most of my television viewing centered around those families who stuck it out in their hometown; they all knew each other, each other's business, each other's families. they grew up together, held together in tough times, died and were buried not far from where they were born. they were a community. in my hometown, everyone has sidewalks; not so westchester county, ny or anchorage, alaska, where I inevitably did my physical growing, if my heart never actually departed from upstate ny.
it has only been in the past few years, since I started a family of my own, that I stopped referring to my family's hometown as "home." it really is no longer, now that my father and stepmother have separated, and my father's siblings have all since moved away. my maternal grandmother is in her 80's, the family loosely affiliated and only then because of the matriarch; when she goes, so goes most of the familial bonds that keep us reuniting and prevent open conflict.
but what holds true for me from the past is the notion that one grow up and be true to one's community: to know the proprietors of the local business, the local figures of goverment, to be acquainted with your neighbor on a more than casual basis, to be an active participant in the collective, local process of living life. one of the prerequisites for me in buying a home was to have sidewalks; because that's what I knew as a kid. I always wanted my kids to walk to school, as I did, even in kindergarten (fat chance, that; there are some fantasies that are just too outlandish). I wanted them to have the same sense of belonging -- to have the roots my father laments I never had -- to have a deeply held conviction that they are a part of something, and ideally, something greater than themselves.
we had dinner, my wife and me, at a local restaurant we found by serendipity. there was an air of welcome. the bartender visited our table to keep me up to date on the yankees game. the neighborhood is a quaint, historically italian section of town. there is a strong sense of the past here; a history you can almost reach out and touch, when blue collar workers lived in tenement houses and eeked out a meager existence for their dozen or so children. a conviction that they were making something better of their lives, if only for their children's sake.
I want that.
maybe I'm over-romanticizing the past, but I want to pass down that desire to better myself and the community to my children. I want them to grow up in the same neighborhood for the better part of their young lives, to know what words like stability, tradition, roots and values mean. to have an emotional and spiritual grounding I clung to whenever my mother and I moved from town to town. though I had my grandparents' and my father's homes to call my own, they were temporary. I want my children to grow up where they were born, knowing that mom and dad will always be there for them, always love them, always sacrifice for their good.
I want it all for my kids. and I do not believe it to be too much to ask of myself.
cogent thought at
16:22 courtesy of Michael Ackerbauer [
]
saturday, august 24
workers of the world unite from al gore's latest endeavor: Leadership '02 is a political action committee (PAC) that is dedicated to connecting and electing Democrats in the 2002 election cycle. Our activity is made possible through individual and Federal PAC contributions. Tipper and I serve as the honorary chairs for Leadership '02.
my question is: how do they feel about the use of softmoney?
and if that's just too political . . . go check out this site and you'll lose track of several hours' worth of your time. I was last seen here ...
cogent thought at
16:54 courtesy of Michael Ackerbauer [
]
maybe it was the retarded kid in third grade that we used to tell to do dumb things, and he would, and we'd all laugh. and then one girl in his class would always stand up for him and (rightly) make us feel bad for embarrassing him. so I'd get embarrassed, feel bad that I had teased the retarded kid, clam up. story of my life.
I have the equal difficulty with child exploitation stories; not only do I partially identify with the child, but I always project my own children's faces onto theirs. the runnion girl. jon benet. the nine-year-old whose parents were killed and was kidnapped. all this emotion comes rushing to the fore; what if it were me? what if it was one of my children? I barely got through the first 45 minutes of cast away because I imagined myself in chuck noland's predicament in the plane, wondering what I would do if it were me, but with a twist: what if my kids were drowning with me?
maybe that gives you a sense of the emotional neighborhood I was in last night when we watched I am sam. sean penn as the mostly believable father with a the mental capacity of a seven-year-old raising an exceptionally smart, mature dakota fanning. two innocents, totally in love, totally and completely in the moment of living life and loving each other without question. and it was all I could do to keep from breaking down for the first 1/3 of the film or running upstairs to hug my kids and weep. welcome to my emotional angst.
me: "Hi, my name's Macker, and I'm an emotional basketcase." AngstAnon: "Hi, Macker!"
cogent thought at
11:41 courtesy of Michael Ackerbauer [
]
your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to be a vigilant observer on the sideline. though you have every right to jump into the fray and comment online as we either self-destruct before your very eyes or actually push through to resolution on several fronts.
to wit:
summer graduate school just ended, while we were yet on vacation, and now it begins again in earnest in just over a week. we already have homework and no text with which to study.
our family departs the house daily starting in only a handful of weeks, rendering it empty and void as it once was before we began procreating. this can be good or bad, depending upon how often the home office is determined more attractive than the slightly more official (if not professional) one just down the street.
we have a slew of Bible studies to prepare for, and a potential delivery conflict in the form of Jets football games. yes, it is all about whom one knows, and in this case, our ace in the hole is a season ticket holder with a recently emptied nest. this is a classic re-definition of mixed emotions, the original being the observance of one's mother-in-law driving over a cliff, thelma and louise style, in one's brand new lexus.
we've been given a single-spaced, double-side "honeydew" list, most of which has been given ASAP priority by mrs. pray naked (who, like the mackerlings and unlike me, is now a lovely shade of deep tan, thank you global warming). fortunately for us, we acquired the reader's digest book of skills and tools on the cheap.
we are being challenged on multiple fronts to defend, expand and otherwise define our philosophy of life: what we believe, why we believe it, how best to articulate it without resorting to namecalling (hello, timothy, you dork) or otherwise reverting into our familiar "nobody loves us, preciousss" shell.
the tasks before us are sufficient to give us pause, but not daunting to the point of making us pull our hair and babble, you're #$%*#$! NUTS if you think I'm gonna take on all that #!*$* !!!. but it's darn close.
happy happy joy joy vassar college has the happiest students in the nation. this from a princeton review ranking, which also ranks it highest in students who ignore God on a regular basis. it also boasts the second most beautiful campus of the 345 surveyed.
given their relationship with the town is nominal (they are 19th most strained town-to-school relationship), I am surprised that vassar students (who were polled for the survey) consider themselves happiest. vassar students have not historically ingratiated themselves into town life in poughkeepsie; on the other hand, the vassar demographic is a far cry from the blue collar / economically depressed aura of the surrounding environs. the city of poughkeepsie, on which vassar borders, has a dramatically different look and feel not a dozen blocks from vassar's front door. the area within a one-block radius is understandably student-friendly, but the rest of the city is not. this is not an indictment on vassar, for the circumstances are much the same for neighboring marist college, flanking pougkeepsie's west side, some three miles away.
this is much more of an indictment on the city and township, which have not, in my mind, reached out to the very sizeable undergraduate contingent in the mid-hudson valley (also close by: a community college, bard college, a suny school and west point and of course, the cia. the city did finally open up the main mall, a two-block length of main street that was cobblestoned in the 70's to encourage a downtown renaissance, which failed miserably. it succeeded only in making the area a haven for drugs, prostitution and low income housing, as all the previous businesses pulled out and the shopping malls moved in on the city's outskirts.
what this suggests is that the city doesn't much care about the college populations in terms of their four year stints in the mid-hudson valley, or in terms of post-graduate life decisions that might include staying in the area. after spending a couple of weeks in buffalo, where the school and city life are both thriving and co-existing very very well, I get depressed just thinking about the current state of downtown poughkeepsie. there is so much potential, but in the face of so much inertia, it is virtually status quo. the hope is that the seeds sown by opening up the main mall will reap a downtown revitalization as its harvest.
but the student body has not appeared to be any more proactive in reaching out to the community. I live less than a mile from the vassar campus; it is as though the lovely stone fence surrounding the campus is a berlin wall between "us" and "them". the daughter of a good friend recently graduated with a political science degree and recounted a number of stories where, even as a student, she was given the cold shoulder by students and faculty alike because her views on such topics as abortion were too conservative. and while the community at large was quick to put up flags it had long left dormant early last autumn, taking its love of country for granted, students at bard and vassar were quick to take up banners suggesting we brought 9/11 upon ourselves. this is not my judgement of one being more right than the other; simply my anecdotal evidence of the sharp contrast between the two and their respective ideologies.
still, I find my apathy toward them and theirs toward me tragic: though I have very little in common with much of the vassar population, they bring fresh thought, energy and capital to an area that would do well to begin embracing the next generation(s).
meanwhile, one wonders what linkage there is, concious or otherwise, between the rankings of happy students and students proud of giving God short shrift in their thought life. what does this say about their upbringing, and that of their parents? most baby-boomers and post-boomers I know who have children are, at best, very infrequent about practicing their family's religious traditions. most "kids" I know today have had little or no formal religous upbringing whatsoever, whether in church or synagogue (or mosque, even), and most have a disdain for organized religion altogether.
so where are they getting their empirical data on who God is or isn't? I'd love to know why students (particularly at vassar) spend little or no timing reflecting on God.
cogent thought at
11:36 courtesy of Michael Ackerbauer [
]
I believe I have something to say that is worth reading. but I have yet to figure out how to make it compelling. to me, at any rate; enough of you keep coming back that I can't just chalk it up to sympathetic [dw] alumni.
such are the things I intended to address on vacation but had few opportunities to devote myself to "think time." so if you'll indulge me, I may just have to think out loud right here.
cogent thought at
18:33 courtesy of Michael Ackerbauer [
]
sunday, august 18
lessons learned we're back. my thanks to kelp boy for keeping the hit count up and, while at it, turning reader loyalty over to him. shrewd move on his part to play the "aw, shucks" card.
had to take my laptop on vacation and crank out a paper on cps facilitation. not as boring as you might think, though I admit for a graduate-level course in creativity, I should be doing something with more sex appeal than change leadership: a study in cps facilitation as a way of life. on the other hand, I aced the course. yessss.
(update: just got confirmation I aced both courses. double yessss.)
we went with the whole family. that is, mother-in-law, two sisters, their respective husbands, three cousins, and the five of my immediate family. we learned a lesson several years ago when travelling to europe that two mothers in tow was not wise. at times, this was on par with that. do you know the definition of insanity? taking the same family members on the same extended vacations and expecting a different result. so many lessons here I could switch to a psych major and do my thesis on it.
these two observations are probably important only to me:
spf 30 actually allows me to tan without burning. who knew?!?? on the down side, I'm only tanned on my back, where I can't see it or appreciate it (vain s.o.b. that I am) because I was busy snorkeling for clams and lobsters all week. (didn't catch a one ... lesson learned: it's not like shooting fish in a barrel.)
marcus and richard marcinko have an eerily similar writing style. only marcinko, a former SEAL, is slightly more articulate than our friend the forever jarhead.
finally, I learned a valuable lesson from john elway. seems his life after football has not been so idyllic. more's the pity, but in that there is at least one very good cautionary tale for us non-superstars. though in another life I preach personal growth, leadership and teamwork, all of which focus to some extent on success and realizing your dreams, life is not all about achievement. a whole lot of it is about just living and doing. and so I am reminded, as my oldest just this second walked away after giving me a huge, unsolicited hug, that the dream is alive and well in my house. I just have to step back more often and recognize it for what it is (or who they are, to be more precise).
so if you'll excuse me, it's time to play baseball with my sons.
cogent thought at
16:52 courtesy of Michael Ackerbauer [
]
so let's see... what sort of insight into my personal views might provoke a suitable furor for everyone to banter about? after hardly any consideration at all, i have decided against religious issues, personal hygiene subjects, and sexual preferences. no, i have one view that usually manages to piss most everyone off.
the subject is political. but it has nothing to do with parties, or tax reform or abortion. it's about voting. i do not vote. i haven't voted in years and years. i don't even feel guilty. it's a hassle. i can't stand politics, or politicians, and don't care enough about any of it to make an informed decision. not voting at all is better than voting ignorantly. and like it really matters anyway.
now, i don't care if YOU vote, i just don't care for it myself. the world is a mess, and so is america, but my voting or not voting isn't gonna help or hurt anything. i'd rather be in europe anyway.
so this is my last shot as substitute blogger for pray naked. macker should be back tomorrow, and balance will be restored to the universe. thanx everyone for treating me well. of course, if anyone is interested in mike's blogger password (you can post anytime as 'michael ackerbauer'!), give me a holler. i accept paypal.
aldjon meg az Ur.
cogent thought at
17:07 courtesy of Michael Ackerbauer [
]
so i eat meat, and i'm not a hippy. last week i had long hair, but i shaved it. it was not an impulsive decision. it's a clean start, not a fashion statement. just minimalist to the letter.
so yesterday, my least favorite former coworker visited the office and remarked that she "liked me better with hair". arrrggh. it's these type of unsolicited opinions that most often provoke my smart-ass wrath. a good variety of creative slams quickly assembled for selection. she'd be sorry she ever left herself open for this one! i mean, i never liked her or her hair, so why hold back now?
but i only mumbled something, shrugged my shoulders, and walked away.
is it possible to regret even having the thoughts almost as much as missing your chance to say them? either way, i suck.
cogent thought at
17:11 courtesy of Michael Ackerbauer [
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cogent thought at
01:05 courtesy of Michael Ackerbauer [
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friday, august 9
soapbox it was not my original intent to generate protest against christiantop1000.com yesterday. my intent was ... well, shoot. I'm not altogether sure what I wanted to accomplish. to raise conciousness? "Look out -- it's a shallow Christian website!" or punish the evildoer? "I just got bit by a rattlesnake -- help me chase it down and kill it!" maybe burn their cheesy graphic in effigy! hello, sean? tell me how to launch a denial-of-service attack."
the truth is, I was initially mad. feeling unjustly wronged, I wanted to write a scathing response, and had come up with a thousand really creative responses designed to impugn their intelligence. and their faith. "what kind of baptists are you? I know baptists. baptists are good people. I have friends who are baptists. you sir, are no baptist."
in the end I relented and dropped my sword. though not without sending a response ...
I am beyond speechless that josh and a host of others went to the mat on account of my experience. these guys don't even know me, but they were willing to stand on principle. ok, sure, it's something of a token measure -- and not altogether altruistic, given the nature of the ct1000 website and the purpose behind it (why else would we want our sites ranked than to give in to our own exhibitionist pride? if you didn't care you wouldn't have a link to sitemeter.com). but if you ended the thought process there you would miss the point.
the most startling conclusion I have come to in this process is that, 2000 years after Christ's return to heaven, we still don't have it together as Christians. the whole lot of us. the fact that I was willing to attack a brother or sister in Christ because I was offended is proof positive I haven't arrived any more than they have. and if we continue to be willing to shoot someone in the foot over the minutiae of life, we have lost all credibility with people in need of a Savior. it's no wonder people like mary, marya and deanna, having once been burned, have no more use for the church; we're too busy hating the sin to love the sinner.
granted, that's a pretty heavy load of guano to dump at christiantop1000.com's doorstep. granted this was a firestorm in a teapot, and I'm sure I helped spark one or two pieces of kindling in the process. I'm not new to finding controversy where there is none of note, or extracting deep truths out of paper thin trivia. clearly this is one of those times, but it bears repeating: Jesus succeeded where we fail; He was real with people. He was accessible. He didn't judge people, only their sinfulness. and most important, He gave them a way out.
we who call ourselves Christ followers can do no less.
p.s. I did write a couple of people, did express some outrage (in less ... virulent ... fashion), and probably had no right to. but in the defense of josh and those who stood on principle with him, he was not one of them. and those I did whine to were good about not being offended on my behalf without just cause. integrity all around, in my book.
cogent thought at
17:17 courtesy of Michael Ackerbauer [
]
I started reading john hawkins today. still feeling politically agnostic, it is rare that I would frequent a "pundit" blog; I just can't be bothered with the politics (my links page notwithstanding). but I stumbled on a ronald reagan quotes page, and after perusing some of john's essays, I'm hooked (at least on the essays, if not the blog).
reagan held a pretty simplistic view of america: ours collectively is a destiny of greatness. our values are to be cherished, defended, and passed on to the next generation. there are no easy answers to the complex problems we face, but there are simple answers. so when I read the quotes of reagan and his dogged determination to stand up both to communism and naysayers, I got all goose-bumpy. I'm a sentimental fellow, all evidence to the contrary -- shoot, I cry at movies with astonishing regularity -- and reagan's simplistic view of america resonates with me.
it was reagan who influenced me the heaviest, whose philosophy cemented my conservative view, and whose legacy that continues to move me. my sense of reagan (and now bush 43) is that he holds himself to a higher standard; that he was a caretaker of the office, a servant of the nation, not a man with a hidden agenda, a desire for power, privilege or celebrity. he struck me as a throwback to earlier presidents who weighed their time in the office with all the sobriety and gravity that it deserves, and this because they respected the office -- and all it represents -- as greater than any one man.
I am proud to have voted for reagan. and like him, I believe g.w. bush has a radically different view of the office than his political opponents. such leaders who, to me, desire to serve rather than be served are leaders worthy of my respect.
cogent thought at
10:54 courtesy of Michael Ackerbauer [
]
message I really love the message Bible. its use of the vernacular to express timeless truth and beauty does not water down the importance of the verses, but instead breathes a new life into scripture. as the tagline states, it's like reading the Bible again for the first time. granted it's been done before, but I suspect never by one who considers himself a poet on top of a scholar.
so it's kind of cool to see bono talking about the message's influence on him. brings the connection a little bit closer to home, as it were.
cogent thought at
08:14 courtesy of Michael Ackerbauer [
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wednesday, august 7
rank I took down the link to christiantop1000.com because they kept rejecting my site submission. they said it was (and I'm quoting) "offensive to Christians." oh reaaallly. maybe they'll explain why I debuted at #69 on their list before they yanked me.
the dane discusses the phenomena of "Christian" blogs better than I can, but here's my take: if my good friends at christiantop1000.com find the examination of a life of faith and failing forward to be offensive, I am well and truly complimented.
thing of it is, I've come to the conclusion that I'm not entirely sure what the purpose of this blog is. the site itself is dedicated to the notion that we are all making our way through this existence on our way to something eternally different, and though our eternities may differ, our life experiences do not. I hate to quote russell crowe, arrogant snob that he is, but he truly nailed it when he said what we do on earth echoes in eternity. this site is dedicated to being real with ourselves, our fellow troglodytes/lemmings/assorted miscreants, and, ultimately, with God.
so if you will allow me be vulnerable: if I can't determine what I'm doing with the daily feed, why should I presume to promote my confused state on a site ranking system that presumes my thrashing is offensive to you?
cogent thought at
10:19 courtesy of Michael Ackerbauer [
]
marcus and beer mary and I have been discussing how God might (or might not) reveal Himself to a select few; this from a discussion on celebrity marriages. my thesis, should I write a full essay on the latter topic, is that I fear we have been conditioned as a society to call it quits when our marriages (or any other commitments we keep in fair weather only) go south. when the overriding theme of a marriage is the prenuptial agreement, what does it say about our willingness to stick it out and work through difficult issues? the high rate of divorce in the u.s. suggests a propensity to look out for our own interests and not sacrifice for the good of the couple. I think we refer to this as being "true" to oneself.
ever wonder what God thinks of the nobility of self-truth? dietrich bonhoeffer noted that Christ called his disciples to die. if we can't be trusted to follow Christ's model to its ultimate conclusion, why would God choose to reveal Himself to us? if He can't trust us to follow His call, to live a life of subversive, radical, humble servitude, why introduce it? I can't get up early enough on a daily basis to ride my bike, when I not only know but can prove to the skeptics the positive effect it has on me! and yet God would risk His message of love with such a vessel?
the psalmist said God's handiwork is inescapable, and yet most are content to appreciate and marvel in it at best, or worship it at worst; but few strike me as willing to pull back the cosmic curtain, to know the Creator.
cogent thought at
15:13 courtesy of Michael Ackerbauer [
]
monday, august 5
left with the truth, right in my mind once upon a time I was heavily involved with an email list. it is still alive and kicking, if perhaps not as vibrant as it was when I first joined (and due in no part whatever to my addition or subtraction). most, if not all, of the participants at the time were of a dramatically different philosophical and political bent than myself, and so when I once challenged a pro-leftist listee to produce one credible example, I was quickly educated on what a leftist (relative to a liberal) really is. not that I could explain it so well at this point ... but john ray goes to great lengths to dissect leftism from rightism. I just have to find the time to slog through the whole thing.
cogent thought at
11:52 courtesy of Michael Ackerbauer [
]
sunday, august 4
sundry don't know how marcus can handle the heat and humidity. days like today are why I don't begrudge the snow in winter. to wit, I am looking for a ford bronco or similar 4wd vehicle in anticipation of next year's winter. to my dismay I found that bronco's were discontinued almost six years ago, which means getting one will be problematic at best. maybe I should get the excursion and piss off marya ...
it's not a good day at the video rental store when the best dvd available is gladiator ...
haven't read much of his stuff yet, but how can you not like a site titled silflay hraka?
thanks to armed liberal for the link.
cogent thought at
21:22 courtesy of Michael Ackerbauer [
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hippo birdee happy birthday to the dude of zen. as I wrote in his birthday email: stop smoking so we don't have to stop wishing you happy birthday because you can't blow out the frippin' candle.
cogent thought at
16:40 courtesy of Michael Ackerbauer [
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ever a fan of blaming someone -- or something -- else, the pool wasn't entirely my fault. the lawn didn't get done because ... well, just because it wasn't convenient. the pool pump had a clog in one of the hoses, and I immediately concluded it was defective (the pool supply shop down the street concurred; who am I to argue with them?)
what is it about being away that it's easier to pack beforehand than to unpack after? what is it about the novelty of things that we so cherish them, only to toss them aside when the newness wears off? why do I long to be with a bunch of cool folks I didn't know a month ago but spent several very angst-filled days dreading my return to my "normal" surroundings?
marcus believes we're not necessarily meant to be paired off in matrimonial union for the entirety of our natural lives. solomon believed in treasuring the things (or in this case, person) closest to us above all others, and to the exclusion of all others. as a rule, I subscribe to the latter philosophy; but given our propensity as humans to consume almost without regard to value, I am at times inclined to side with the former. this is one of those times.
this is not a confession of an affair, real or imagined. unless you define an affair as being unfaithful to what you already possess or are willfully bound to, including marital bond, committed relationship or inanimate object. in that case, I believe we are all guilty of committing adultery more often than we realize. Jesus expands the paramters of adultery to include even the lust born of our thoughts. I submit that it includes lust for time spent elsewhere, with things, people and commitments not our own, while our own are left neglected, overlooked, undervalued.
cogent thought at
13:59 courtesy of Michael Ackerbauer [
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It was stuck in the vending machine, as though someone punched its number but the candy failed to fall off the rack. normally I would have bought a kit kat, but why not get two reese's for the price of one? a no-brainer, as they say. alas, the machine is rigged. mine got stuck too, so I only got one. I would have much preferred the kit kat, but when a freebie is staring you in the face, what do you do?
option a: get what I wanted to begin with. option b: play the system for an extra.
granted, if I were a reese's fan, it would have been a no-brainer no matter what. but the principle, however lame, still holds: something for nothing works only when you have a rightful expectation of entitlement to it. enron's executives got greedy for more but weren't willing to pay the price for it up front. choosing instead to tempt fate, riding on the success of past sweet deals, the thrill of the kill and good ol' boy networks, they got away with it for so long that they forgot what was theirs and what wasn't.
as clint eastwood once stated, deserve's got nothing to do with it. but lust starts out small; integrity is compromised one misappropriated paper clip at a time, until we assume it's "owed" to us.
for me, it starts with a candy bar. who's to say how it started with james traficant?
cogent thought at
15:04 courtesy of Michael Ackerbauer [
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sean penn as the mostly believable father with a the mental capacity of a seven-year-old raising an exceptionally smart, mature dakota fanning. two innocents, totally in love, totally and completely in the moment of living life and loving each other without question. and it was all I could do to keep from breaking down for the first 1/3 of the film or running upstairs to hug my kids and weep. welcome to my emotional angst.
